How to get over low self-esteem forever

How to get over low self-esteem forever

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Justin Bieber once opened up during an interview that he almost suffered a damaged sense of self-worth from the pressure and isolation that came with the expectation of being a bad boy celebrity, a young sex symbol, and dealing with fame.

Truth be told, beyond the glitz and glamor of stardom, many of our popular icons battle low self-esteem. The sadder truth is that many people who look up to them suffer a low sense of self-worth, and would do anything to become like them.

Where do we get low self-esteem from?

Our authority figures and care givers

While growing up, our parents, siblings and other authority figures criticized us for not being good enough. It gave reasons to live with shame and a perpetual fear that you cannot be good enough.

Sometimes, even when you perform tremendously at something, your achievements go unnoticed by your primary caregivers, you may grow up feeling unimportant. It also makes you feel no one is concerned about you. Thus, hurting your self-esteem.

Bullying

Children who suffer from taunting and bullying, especially when they have unsupportive parents grow up to experience low self-esteem. To them, friendships are big favors because they think of themselves as damaged and unworthy of love. Even in cases with over-supportive parents, such children may become ill prepared for the world. They do not develop a thick layer to protect themselves from daunting challenges, so they keel over in the face of threat.

Trauma

One of the major causes of low self-esteem. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse makes it difficult to trust others. You may blame yourself for the situation, developing a strong sense of resentment and shame against yourself.

Social media

What you see on social media is not always the truth. We set unrealistic standards of beauty, physique, wealth and charisma as a norm. Now, most of us feel like we can’t attain the heights our pop icons reach. As younger generations’ access social media, it fuels their feelings of inadequacy and damages their self-esteem.

What are the effects of low self-esteem?

  • Low self-esteem makes you doubt your abilities. It hinders your creativity and leads to reduced productivity in the workplace.
  • It makes you feel insecure and weakens your ability to communicate. The lack of trust and inability to love yourself affects your relationship with others.
  • Low self-esteem can cause depression, affect your bodily functions, and make you unwell. It even affects your response to treatments.  

Having a good opinion about yourself makes you more optimistic about life. Whereas, a terrible opinion about yourself gives you a negative outlook.  

But how do you overcome your struggle with low self-esteem?

Self-acceptance

Time often comes when we dislike ourselves for many reasons. For someone grappling with low self-esteem, this feeling never fades. It makes you unable to forgive yourself. But to get over it, we need to learn to accept ourselves the way we are.

It starts with a knowledge of self. Know that you are human with good and bad sides. Attempt to identify your both sides. Know that not only your flaws define you. You also have your good sides.

Be realistic with goals

After accepting yourself, learn to work on your flaws. In doing that, think about how best you can manage your goals without putting a strain on yourself. If you want to shed weight, for instance, you know it is unrealistic to go from size 14 to size 10 in two weeks. 

Accept your current position and take enough time to meet your goals. Break down that one big goal into tinier, manageable chunks, and watch yourself crush your targets.

Avoid comparison

Just like you, everybody else is unique in their own way. Comparison only steals joy and results in insecurity. Understand that there is something weird about everybody. Nobody does it like you, or anybody else.

Learn to take constructive criticism

Listen to what is said and evaluate the truth in it before determining how you feel or react. If there is truth in the criticism, attempt to improve. If the criticism seems untrue, speak out your disagreement. Don’t bottle it down.

Face your fears

Challenge the situations that make you anxious with facts. Make a list of your fears and starting from the smallest fears, take on an activity that crushes it daily.

Set your limits

Place your limits on what you do for others. Seeking approval from others every time makes you feel worthless in yourself. You do not have to burn yourself out to please others. In most cases, people have others to call on when you can’t help and would really not keep a grudge against you.

Take the effort to look good

Don’t think of it as pointless. Start a healthy diet, exercise daily and always dress your best. Rest when you need to and get good sleep. Your body will thank you for it, and you will invariable appreciate yourself sooner.

Seek professional help

Going from low self-esteem to healthy self-esteem takes time and patience. It is an exercise that you may not fulfill on your own. If you find yourself in where you can’t help out of low self-esteem, talk to a counselor.

Justin Bieber once opened up during an interview that he almost suffered a damaged sense of self-worth from the pressure and isolation that came with the expectation of being a bad boy celebrity, a young sex symbol, and dealing with fame.

Truth be told, beyond the glitz and glamor of stardom, many of our popular icons battle low self-esteem. The sadder truth is that many people who look up to them suffer a low sense of self-worth, and would do anything to become like them.

Where do we get low self-esteem from?

Our authority figures and care givers

While growing up, our parents, siblings and other authority figures criticized us for not being good enough. It gave reasons to live with shame and a perpetual fear that you cannot be good enough.

Sometimes, even when you perform tremendously at something, your achievements go unnoticed by your primary caregivers, you may grow up feeling unimportant. It also makes you feel no one is concerned about you. Thus, hurting your self-esteem.

Bullying

Children who suffer from taunting and bullying, especially when they have unsupportive parents grow up to experience low self-esteem. To them, friendships are big favors because they think of themselves as damaged and unworthy of love. Even in cases with over-supportive parents, such children may become ill prepared for the world. They do not develop a thick layer to protect themselves from daunting challenges, so they keel over in the face of threat.

Trauma

One of the major causes of low self-esteem. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse makes it difficult to trust others. You may blame yourself for the situation, developing a strong sense of resentment and shame against yourself.

Social media

What you see on social media is not always the truth. We set unrealistic standards of beauty, physique, wealth and charisma as a norm. Now, most of us feel like we can’t attain the heights our pop icons reach. As younger generations’ access social media, it fuels their feelings of inadequacy and damages their self-esteem.

What are the effects of low self-esteem?

  • Low self-esteem makes you doubt your abilities. It hinders your creativity and leads to reduced productivity in the workplace.
  • It makes you feel insecure and weakens your ability to communicate. The lack of trust and inability to love yourself affects your relationship with others.
  • Low self-esteem can cause depression, affect your bodily functions, and make you unwell. It even affects your response to treatments.  

Having a good opinion about yourself makes you more optimistic about life. Whereas, a terrible opinion about yourself gives you a negative outlook.  

But how do you overcome your struggle with low self-esteem?

Self-acceptance

Time often comes when we dislike ourselves for many reasons. For someone grappling with low self-esteem, this feeling never fades. It makes you unable to forgive yourself. But to get over it, we need to learn to accept ourselves the way we are.

It starts with a knowledge of self. Know that you are human with good and bad sides. Attempt to identify your both sides. Know that not only your flaws define you. You also have your good sides.

Be realistic with goals

After accepting yourself, learn to work on your flaws. In doing that, think about how best you can manage your goals without putting a strain on yourself. If you want to shed weight, for instance, you know it is unrealistic to go from size 14 to size 10 in two weeks. 

Accept your current position and take enough time to meet your goals. Break down that one big goal into tinier, manageable chunks, and watch yourself crush your targets.

Avoid comparison

Just like you, everybody else is unique in their own way. Comparison only steals joy and results in insecurity. Understand that there is something weird about everybody. Nobody does it like you, or anybody else.

Learn to take constructive criticism

Listen to what is said and evaluate the truth in it before determining how you feel or react. If there is truth in the criticism, attempt to improve. If the criticism seems untrue, speak out your disagreement. Don’t bottle it down.

Face your fears

Challenge the situations that make you anxious with facts. Make a list of your fears and starting from the smallest fears, take on an activity that crushes it daily.

Set your limits

Place your limits on what you do for others. Seeking approval from others every time makes you feel worthless in yourself. You do not have to burn yourself out to please others. In most cases, people have others to call on when you can’t help and would really not keep a grudge against you.

Take the effort to look good

Don’t think of it as pointless. Start a healthy diet, exercise daily and always dress your best. Rest when you need to and get good sleep. Your body will thank you for it, and you will invariable appreciate yourself sooner.

Seek professional help

Going from low self-esteem to healthy self-esteem takes time and patience. It is an exercise that you may not fulfill on your own. If you find yourself in where you can’t help out of low self-esteem, talk to a counselor.

Written by Emmanuel Ojieaja

Written by Emmanuel Ojieaja

Copyright 2020 ©

Copyright 2020 ©

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